the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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