I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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