If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
