Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
