doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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