I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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