you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
