Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
they're like a gay fantastic four
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
we're so committed to being not committed
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
