i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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