I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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