kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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