We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
