yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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