Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
