Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
