If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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