whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
