when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
