i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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