Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
