I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
