Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
