I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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