the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
