It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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