none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I love having hate sex.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
