you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
