he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
