When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
