Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The air taste purple.
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