I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
