She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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