even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
