Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
