So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
