If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
