u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
