Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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