we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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