Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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