Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
