I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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