I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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