Non-Jews are for practice
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
