I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
