So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
