i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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