just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
