i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
