I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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