True but thats because hes a fetus.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
