I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I understand Curling. That high.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Randomize
