how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
