this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
