are you still at the devil's house?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
