there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize