Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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