i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
