Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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