Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
