you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
