You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
