everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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