i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
