Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
