I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
