hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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