btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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