I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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