Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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