Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I don't deserve a penis
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
